So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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