If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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