Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
