I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
