if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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