Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
