and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
