I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
