Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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