It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
