margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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