I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
