I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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