DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
