I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
