im six kinds of drunk right now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
