So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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