He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
