Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
