i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
