yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
