So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
