dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
