This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
