there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
