I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
