Come see our sink grown plant.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
