he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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