Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
