Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm always down for nudity.
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