im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
