Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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