Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
