I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
