Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
