Don't you send me to vm
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
