Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
