whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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