He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
