is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
