We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
