i will never coherently bang her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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