We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
