I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
