I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So much rum. So many feels.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
