I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
