Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
