Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
