i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
