why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
