I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
